The cobra and the scorpion (3 of 3)

I wasn't liking Phnom Penh much. My quest was a bust, I was uncomfortable even in a pool hall, and I had no desire to make friends with the people staying near me. I shot off an email to the Aussie telling him it was a good try and switched hostels to a better area. I booked a bus for the next morning to see Angkor Wat. I headed to bed and found an email waiting for me from aswa (I found out aswa means 'danger' in malay, no idea if that is the origin). He said I had spoken to the wrong bartender: I was supposed to find Srey Ra, not Joon Lee. He had emptied the bag knowing it might not last, and had given everything to the person he trusted. She would have a second bag for me to go with the first. I was leaving in six hours. I hopped in a tuk-tuk and headed back to the laughing fat man. Srey Ra was behind the bar. Aswa would message her, then message me, then Srey Ra would ask me a few questions. It took 20 minutes of this before she ducked behind a counter and pulled out a shopping bag that had been stapled shut. It had a tag with my reddit username on it. I pulled things out one by one, with Srey Ra bursting in to laughter occasionally.

Dear borderline anonymous internet person. I will attempt to leave as much knowledge as possible within this note. I have left a couple of notes. They barely scratch the surface. Discover explore, learn and teach. Pass anything you don't want to someone who does.
Good luck.

He had a page on places to visit in Phnom Penh, a list of the islands, a map of the area with notes like 'town run by mafia. FEAR THE RUSSIANS HERE!', 'this border post will rob you blind. AVOID!'. Following was a list of 'people of interest'. That day I had met a guy named 'G'. He was a skinny Canadian who rides around on a white Harley Davidson. He stopped by the hostel daily offering weed to the guests. I saw him maybe 5-6 times a day. One girl commented that he had been trying to get one of her friends to go out on a tour of the city with him. He was going for that vagrant 'zen master of wisdom' vibe. The people of interest included:

G - tall, skinny Canadian. To be honest he looks like a skeloton. He is a f***ing psycho, avoid at all costs.

I asked Srey Ra what she knew about G. She said he was a very bad man, that he loses his temper and explodes a lot, which is a big crime in Cambodian culture. He also listed 'Mr. P', who can 'make problems...go away' and can get huge discounts at the shooting range, where you can fire machine guns and rocket launchers, or for $300 you can toss grenades at a live cow. And there was 'Kessara', a homeless man selling wallets. I would really have liked to find him; the 'history of Cambodia' he had in his head would have told me a lot about the Pol Pot years. I had just visited the killing fields that day. The rest of the bag included: utensils, a makeshift medical kit, a strong lock, weed with paper and a grinder, sunscreen, bug spray, a power strip, a quiz game about Holland, an eyeglass case full of coins, a manicure kit, business cards with notes on who to talk to, and my personal favorite: a sealed bottle of rice wine with a cobra biting a scorpion inside.

There was also a baby gecko in there. I'm guessing he wasn't originally included.

Cobra biting a scorpion

The laughing fat man (2 of 3)

My travel plan fly in to Singapore, spend a day there, then a day in Kuala Lampur, then catch a flight to Cambodia to complete my quest. In KL my travel plans were hijacked when I ended up with a crazy travel family who decided to head to Penang. We went out clubbing the night before, and I eventually gave in to peer pressure and missed my flight to Cambodia. We bounced around Malaysia for a few weeks, so the Cambodia starter pack had been sitting there much longer than expected.

I didn't have accommodation, so on arrival in Phnom Penh I headed straight for the laughing fat man guesthouse to ask for the pack. It seemed like an alright place, so I booked a night there. Within a few hours, I could tell something was up. There were no western girls anywhere, but there were a ton of old western guys. I tried to play pool and was immediately surrounded by asian girls wanting to play with me; at that point I realized I was staying in the red light district, and every bar was full of prostitutes.

I asked the bartender if she knew the Aussie. She got a big grin, and spent 5 minutes telling me how 'he a very good man'. She definitely had a thing for him. She wasn't the one listed in the letter, but I asked about the package anyway. She knew exactly what I was talking about, and called over a big guy named Noon. He questioned me for a little while, then said 'You're a mate of aswa? You want weed or coke?' He figured anyone who was friends with this guy would be after drugs.

He disappeared and came back seconds later with a big, red backpack. It was a serious travel pack, and well-used. I checked in to my room with a big grin on my face. I was getting messaged by various travelers I had told about my quest who knew I was about to complete it. I went through the bag: it was completely empty. All the zippers were opened. Whatever had been in there had disappeared while I was cavorting around Malaysia.

The rabbit has entered the burrow (1 of 3)

I was in a forum for solo travelers, and read a guy's story who visited Cambodia then ended up staying for three months. We traded a few comments, and I mentioned I would be in Cambodia the day after he left. He was giving me advice on what to do and see, and who to meet, and what I'd need. It all got to be too much; he finally just said he was going to leave me a 'Cambodia starter pack' I could pick up when I got here. This isn't all that easy to arrange, but right before I left on my trip, here is what we worked out:

The rabbit has entered the burrow. New password - say you're a mate of someone called Ian. Its a shit password but I'm working across languages here, I just spent an hour trying to explain why cryptography is important to someone who never even got a first grade education, let alone finished hoghschool..... basically, the package is ready when you are. The package will contain an assortment of odds and ends that you will find useful on your travels. Ask to speak to Srey Ra. Tell her, "The aswa has left me a package." She will give you it. The contents will be varied - I will try to include many things of interest. uck man, you've got 30 days? That's shitloads of time. OK, first of all, get your visa at the airport. 1 month tourist visa is going to cost you 30 dollars, maybe 35 if it's a quiet day and the security are strapped for cash. If you're doing Siem Reap first, stay for one, maybe 3 days max. Seriously, there is nothing there of any interest bar the temples, and you will honestly probably be sick of them after 4 or 5 hours in the humidity. The bars and stuff in Pub Street are way overpriced, but are always full and always pumping. I can also sort you out with a few mates of mine who run a dive centre off of one of the islands. I'll hook you up mate. Mate, I can't tell you what's going to be in the starter kit. All I can do is say - when you get to phnom Penh, go to street 172, and go to the Laughing Fatman guesthouse. When you get there, ask the lady behind the counter if there was a package for "shadowstalker". That package will contain all the information you need to know.